Updated: Oct 7, 2020
‘Home does not have an address’
So that’s what they told me
I can’t even enclose who ‘they’ are. Because they don’t exist, but yet bear such a significance in multiple ways. Ways which cannot be explained, or perhaps I am choosing not to do so.
Away from that, here I am. In the background of the lights, watching the shore brush against her feet. Observing from my seat, I know she can’t feel anything, but I wish she could. I wish she could escape out of confinement. If only she had enough energy for such an action. But, she doesn’t. I know that and I’m sure she does too. It’s as though all of her realities are consuming her at once, one…by one.
The shore which will not stop, her mind which feels like it will drop. Her realities are endless. Each possessing some of her darkest experiences, fears and thoughts. Funny how I know all of this, and yet she suppresses it all. Perhaps, I should stop.
But, I feel that I should continue for her own benefit. I know that she would feel relieved if someone were to understand her. Maybe then the shore wouldn’t become so heavily filled with her thoughts and desires. She wouldn’t have to be away from reality. Whatever that may be.
I can’t force her to define the reality that she does not want to face.
Freedom is all that she will chase. A concept that she doesn’t understand, but excessively obsesses over. And it takes the loss of self-control to regain it. But if one loses it, what is the guarantee that they will ever get it back?
The sky darkens, and she knows that it’s time. To transition back onto that open road which allows for desires to come alive. For them to be fulfilled.
And maybe that’s all she needs to survive.