It took me by surprise. Yet, a pause was something that I needed deeply. Some people take pauses for various reasons by going on holiday or taking a social media break. Though, my most recent pause wasn't something that I was intentional about, it just so happened.
In a way you could say that I was forced to take a pause, though I can probably count on one hand the amount of times that I've actually been obedient to my mind and body, in terms of taking a pause, but looking back I can say this pause has been one of the most impactful ones that I have ever experienced in my life. It allowed me to reassess my current situation, goals, and even habits, reflecting on what exactly I wanted to change and it also allowed me to pick up a paintbrush and gently stroke on the canvas in my mind in terms of what I really wanted the few months/years to look like, but more importantly how I pictured myself in those moments. By that, I mean in terms of my values as a foundation in my life, and what that means for me in everything that I do. This time around one of the main things I was focused on was my writing and website and how I could further link and share my values through this medium.
Ironically, I did not upload any new content on my website and my newsletter was put on a pause. I'm a writer, but I couldn't write. I couldn't put pen to paper, which for me was like a display of oil and water not being able to mix. It almost didn't make sense to me. I was thinking so much about how I wanted to expand my writing beyond poetry and creative short stories, yet I couldn't articulate it in written format. For a while, I'd always had these thoughts around how I could take my writing to the next step, I even created a promo video probably about a year ago capturing all of the new topics that I would be focusing on (which I will be doing now, many many months later), but at least it's happening.
That also links to another thing which is being patient with myself, and pauses are good in that they allow you the ability to do that. They allow you the freedom to just think and not necessarily execute right there and then, but maybe a week later or a month, or a few years depending on how long the pause lasts. Which brings me to my next point around the end of pauses, which once again I feel can be intentional or forced, for example because your vacation has ended or because you've had thoughts circulating around and around in your mind for some time and you're now ready to execute. I was in the latter stage.
I was ready to execute and get my thoughts actualised. This is reality of this post and this new section, all of those things reflect my first step of execution. Another thing I would note is that there is hyperawareness around productivity, even so in breaks, because there is expectation that you should be coming back refreshed, and having the next few steps or whatever it is that you were focused on noted down somewhere, but I think it's also important to stress that if that isn't the case, that it's also okay. The reason being is because it's okay to experience life as life and to be as present as much as possible, without feeling like you must give excessive meaning to the current situation or state of mind that you're in. It's okay to just exist and to take the days as they come.
Going forward, I plan to be a bit more intentional about taking breaks and reflecting, as opposed to having it creep up behind me. Writing keeps me check with myself, but I've realised that there is beauty and different forms of self-actualisation beyond this, such as speaking whether that to be encourage someone else or public speaking on an area that you are passionate about or deeply skilled in. I also plan to use this platform to help other people through the topics that I will discuss and the experiences that I will share. The structure that I have in terms of topics currently are around personal development, lifestyle and possibly career-related stuff, but I'm pretty open to writing about anything that I think will add value to others.
I hope you enjoyed this first piece, and stayed tuned for more...
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